Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
