Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
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I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Alive.
So much puke
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Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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