I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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