I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
