sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
