my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
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she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
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it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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