She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
