im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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