id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize