No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Randomize
