I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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