It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
