your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
