it wasn't lemon gatorade
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
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She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
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Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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