Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
