I'm so fucking centered right now
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
