if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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