You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
