Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
