Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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