I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
