i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
