I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
