found the other keg... it's in the tree
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
