plz talk dirty to me
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
