Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize