How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
