all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
