they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My feet surprised me
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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