When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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