shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
