Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
there was a trapeze. enough said
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
