Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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