Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
