The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
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