The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
