So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My cat gives me a boner
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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