dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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