If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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