I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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