I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
