i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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