I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
