it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
