And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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