It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
