You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She bit a glass in half.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
