I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
