Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
