i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
