its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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