It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
