Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
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