What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
