We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
