Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My ass is underappreciated
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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