hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
