so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
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oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
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I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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