the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize