I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Holy shit dude........stairs
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
