I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
