There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
