The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
