I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
