he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You are the jesus of drinking
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
