the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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