so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
