it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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