I puked a lego.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Dignity is for republicans.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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