I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize